


What To Expect When You're Expecting

by sacredORDINARYdays



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker Gets Therapy, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Parental Plo Koon, Parenting Books, dad Obi-Wan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 09:07:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30103596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacredORDINARYdays/pseuds/sacredORDINARYdays
Summary: Mace Windu stared at the innocent twi’lek girl smiling at him.Stared some more.He looked down at the book in her outstretched hands, a gift, she had said.BECOMING ATTACHED was written in brown-grey lettering, in front of a backdrop of a young toddler.He wondered if this was some kind of joke.OR:A group of children decide to give the Jedi Order a great amount of parenting books. This may or may not lead to Anakin possibly getting therapy. Which may or may not lead to the saving of the Galaxy. Well, you know what they say. Sometimes children are the wisest of us all.
Relationships: Clone Troopers & Jedi Characters, Mace Windu & Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 19
Kudos: 159





	What To Expect When You're Expecting

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All the book titles used in this fanfiction are actual books, and as such, they are the property of their respective authors. I do not take credit!

Mace Windu stared at the innocent twi’lek girl smiling at him. 

Stared some more. 

Rubbed his eyes.

Stared some more.

Okay, so his eyes weren’t broken.

In that case,  _ what the Force…?  _

He looked down at the book in her outstretched hands,  _ a gift, _ she had said. 

_ Becoming Attached _ was written in brown-grey lettering, in front of a backdrop of a young toddler. 

He wondered if this was some kind of joke. 

The whole attachment-Jedi-Code thing aside, he was fairly sure that  _ Becoming Attached _ was a parenting book, and unless he had some sort of hidden child born out of wedlock wandering Coruscant somewhere, Mace Windu was fairly sure that he was no parent.

A whole group of children--at least forty!--was standing behind her, with books ranging from  _ The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read  _ to  _ All Joy And No Fun: The Paradox Of Modern Parenthood  _ clutched in their grubby little child-paws. 

“Ah, as much as I love your…  _ gift, _ I’m afraid that the Jedi do not take presents, but I’m sure someone else would love it!”

Mace Windu was sure that someone else would probably not love it.

The twi’lek girl’s lip began trembling dangerously, and her eyes started to water.

Kriff.

“B-but we’re just trying to be  _ helpful!" _ a young human boy holding  _ Siblings Without Rivalry _ exclaimed.

“Yeah! My mom said that the Jedi had um...padawans? And that the masters were the padawans’  _ parents, _ and for class we had to do something  _ nice, _ so we decided to get you  _ books, _ because my mom said that your archives don’t have parenting stuff, so maybe we should get you something to help you deal with the uh...what’d she call it?” Turning to the classmate beside her, a young girl scrunched her nose trying to remember.

“The  _ angsty-teenage-phase!” _ Another student piped up.

Mace was really starting to ~~hate~~ _ dislike _ this girl’s mom. 

Drawn out by the commotion, Jedi started filing out into the open, curious as to why  _ Mace Windu _ looked like he was getting a headache from a group of young children with books. 

A small togruta boy caught sight of a target, sprinted, and unceremoniously dumped a book into the arms of Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened in surprise upon seeing the cover, and he lifted the book up to show the other Jedi, as if to say  _ get a load of this. _

It was titled  _ The Drama Of The Gifted Child _ in dark blue lettering. 

Mace Windu would later swear he heard Obi-Wan say “where was  _ this _ ten years ago?”

Though it might have been something less complimentary, judging by Skywalker’s indignant “Hey!”

Either way, with or without his consent, the group of younglings began milling about-- _ without permission-- _ handing books to whatever Jedi they came into contact with. 

Plo Koon received  _ Adoption For Dummies  _ (If he put the information in the book to use when adopting clones, no one would know).  __

Kit Fisto got  _ The Happiest Baby On The Block _ shoved into his hands.

When Adi Gallia gained  _ My New Baby,  _ she sputtered, stating that  _ she was most certainly not pregnant, _ only to be waved off by a eight-year-old with attitude. 

Quinlan Vos was gifted  _ Weird Parenting Wins. _

Obi-Wan Kenobi was given  _ Unequal Childhoods, Permission To Feel: Unlocking The Power Of Emotions To Help Our Kids, Ourselves, And Our Society Thrive,  _ and  _ How To Hug A Porcupine: Negotiating The Prickly Points Of The Tween Years. _

Mace wondered if this was secretly a mission to get Skywalker therapy or something. 

Even Yoda-- _ Yoda! _ was told to take  _ The Baby Owner’s Manual. _

Windu groaned. He seriously wanted these younglings gone, but it wasn’t like he could  _ roughhouse  _ them. 

He reluctantly took the book from the expecting hands of the twi’lek, and gave a strained smile. 

When the young girl beamed, Windu supposed that if it made the children _that_ happy that the Jedi were taking  _ parenting _ books, well, at least it could be worse. 

Even if, Windu thought grimly, Skywalker would never let him live down reading  _ Becoming Attached.  _

Once all the books were properly distributed, the children all grinned and bid them a boisterous farewell, yelling “ _ read the books!” _ on their way out of the Temple. 

Anakin, himself holding  _ Mommy Says I Have A Sister  _ (Windu wondered briefly whether that would make Obi-Wan or Yoda  _ Mommy, _ then promptly shut himself off from that terrifying line of thought), asked “What the  _ kark _ just happened?”

For once in his life, Obi-Wan didn’t say “ _ language, Padawan,” _ too shocked himself and rather preoccupied with the several books he had been handed. 

If he had to be honest, Obi-Wan would admit that the titles, at least, sounded rather promising. Goodness knows that Anakin was still a handful and a half. 

Sighing and wondering what he had done to deserve to be born in  _ this _ time period, Mace went back to his quarters, leaving the other Jedi gossiping and flipping through the books they had been given. 

Surely this enigma would soon pass, right?

_ Right? _

Wrong.

***

One month later, and Windu was  _ still _ seeing Jedi reading parenting books. Apparently there had been hundreds of talks about  _ mental health  _ and  _ therapy  _ (though he would admit, with what he had heard, therapy might be a good option), and now Jedi were questioning what exactly  _ attachment _ in the Jedi Code meant. 

Heck, even  _ Skywalker _ had seemed calmer and more balanced after Obi-Wan started reading those child-raising books. 

Strangely, Palpatine had seemed more… distressed than usual, and Skywalker had actually been  _ distancing _ himself from the Chancellor. Mace filed that away for further consideration, and sighed as he received the  _ fiftieth _ request to rethink the Jedi tenets. 

Honestly, he was not paid enough for this. 

***

Two Years Later:

So, apparently the Chancellor was a Sith Lord. And it was found out because Skywalker had gotten therapy. Which happened because Obi-Wan read some parenting books. Which were given by eight-year old younglings.

Mace Windu supposed the Force really did work in mysterious ways. 

So this time, when a familiar Twi’lek girl led a familiar band of children into the Temple holding books ranging from  _ Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adopted Parents Knew  _ to  _ You Can Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways To Cover The Cost Of Adoption _ , with the not-so-young younglings glancing very conspicuously at the clones, the Jedi took the books without hesitation or protest. 

Who were they, after all, to deny some well-intentioned advice?

**Author's Note:**

> Obi-Wan: *intensely reading parenting books* Say Anakin, what do you feel about Therapy?  
> Anakin: Uh...what?  
> Obi-Wan: Also have I ever told you that I love you? And that I truly do appreciate you? And that I am proud to have been your master?  
> Anakin: *sputtering while blushing a bright red*  
> Obi-Wan: So, therapy?  
> Anakin: *Too shocked and happy to do anything other than nod numbly*  
> Obi-Wan: Excellent!


End file.
